What a stupid day. I am freaking waiting for something. I shouldn’t get irritated neither be pissed about it but yet I am. I don’t know why I’m so affected about this when I know from the very start what I am entering upon. But I just couldn’t help it. It’s getting to my NERVES like hell!! Can someone get me a beer and I’m going to drunk my ass off! What the fuck! I want justice for crissake.

I’m such a L.

|||rd party's journal.

I always despised people who engaged in a relationship knowing that they are not the legal one. They hide in dark places waiting for their turn.

But, recently I realized.. It was Fun after all. Yeah you heard it right. I never thought I would enjoy this thing, not even imagined myself engaging in such. She’s committed and I don’t care. I’m dating other girls and she doesn’t care as well. Well, I hope she doesn’t because sometimes I could sense that shes affected. I just don’t know if it’s true. But the thing here is. I’m having really so much FUN FUN FUN. The thrill of playing fire which I know it hurts a bit is paid off when we’re both enjoying the small creepy time we have. Careful it might be your girl I’m dating with. Nyaahahaa.

I KISSED your girl and i LIKE it.
I KISSED your girl just to TRY it.
I hope you don’t mind it. XD

Fire. Fire. Lier.

what am i doing now? lately, ive been playing with her again. i dont know whats gotten up in my coconut shell head that i am letting myself IN again. And to the same person who have caused me so much Laa la la..

Things begin to heat up between us. i tried to a get hold of myself. But i loose control. Everything went blank. it became one sweaty confrontation between two lost souls. It was more of LOVE vs. LUST thing. i admit i enjoyed it. every single second of it. but i was hoping it did not happend at all at the same time. she musnt be at my place anyway. knowing that im all alone in my house. Well ofcourse shes not thinking that we'l only have a simple chit chat and then ill give her a juice and then off she go right? given the weather that time. (its raining hard) how timely it is. Lmao.


This could be pure fiction or
or drawn from reality.. Hihii

wishful thinking

I never wish for something perfect. I never wanted to have something more of a goddess to be at my side. All I want is someone who can stand up for me. Someone who I can share my deepest wildest thoughts, and someone who will be there not only in my highest high’s but also on my deepest darkest times. Love has stabbed me many times now. And I am not as well clean as saint because I have such shits before. But that was past now.

All I wanted is someone who…

• Sings with me in my weird note.
• Smiles back at me when I call her name.
• Laughs at my corniest jokes.
• Enjoys eating vegetables with me.
• Tells me I look good with the shirt I wear.
• Holds my hand so tight.
• Is ready to commit her self to me as I was.
• Is ready to get dirty sometimes.
• Gets drunk with me.
• Kisses me like there is no tomorrow.
• Stares me with pure genuine passionate love.
• Wears the same color of shirt as I was.
• Supports me in whatever I do.
• Gets a little jealous sometimes.
• Runs with me under the pouring rain laughing.
• Seats with me at a bench silently contented.
• Reprimands me when I’m being unfair.
• Is ready to pay our meal when I don’t have a single penny on my wallet.
• Hugs me really tight and tells me “I Love you” when we have arguments.
• Someone who seats with me at a dark corner when I’m at my lowest low.

what a waste..

is there such thing as forever? Or the question should be, does anyone still believes there is such shit? i mean, who on earth with the sane mind still believes on such crap?

Lovers often give such stupid promises like, I will love you forever and will never ever gonna leave or even hurt you in any way. And, i would rather hurt myself than to see you crying (isn't that from a song?). Then before you knew it. She is out there getting laid with some others C**K! And the most pissing part of it, She had made such promises before as well to her who knows past 40 ex's?! what a shame. yeah what a shame that you fell for it. those sweet honey like words from her rotten lips just gives me chill by now. not the same as the line in song entitled "YOUR LOVE" that goes this way "Your love is like the river That flows down through my veins I feel the chill inside" NO! NO! NO! not that same feeling. its a chill of grouseness which i wanted to puke whenever i remember her saying those mere dramatic false love fairyltale land scene words. WHAT the fuck. (can i skip to the love scene instead?)

wait, do i sound kinda absurd today? idk. and hell i care. im pissed.


STOP DREAMING!! there is no such thing as WONDERLAND!!
its better if you'd wake up and go get yourself a LIQOUR.
and after you have drunk it all, smash the bottle in your
coconut like head.

LL.